I can't take this anymore.

[ruyu]

Can you be forced into depression? I really don't want to be depressed, but somehow I am slowly sinking into it. I have no problems with myself and how I deal with the world. My life, my job and especially my family have become an increasingly bad influence on my mental health. I try to stay on the bright side of things but the world keeps dumping shit into my lap and it's getting to be a little much. I'm not going off on the deep end or anything- I just want to wade in the shallow end for a while. I'm going into my third year of college and I can't really move out right now. Money and time are become very hard to come by and therefore I can't move out. I tell every one that when I am able to: I will--EVERYONE is aware of this-but then they push me so hard and make it so difficult to stay and feel welcome. Does everyone really think that I want to stay stuffed in this tiny ass house with assholes that have no respect for me. I love my parents-they are tnot the problem-it's my sister. She is slowly taking over my space in this house. I can't compete with that and still have my sanity in tack. I need to get out before I lose my mind. I can't live like this anymore-like a guest in my own house. I can't stand coming home-a place I should feel welcome in -and somehow feel like I am interupting someone else's space. When I get off of work I have nowhere to retreat too-nowhere to get away from it all. Every room I walk into is someone elses space and there is nowhere for me to go. I am so frustrated that I have to wait for everyone else to go sleep before I can get to sleep. I HATE being woken up in the morning to people talking and eating and banging around in the other room when I am clearly trying to get a few hours of sleep. I have no privacy anymore-no claim on anything and space or room or time in an area. Do you see what I mean-these people and this situation are forcing me into depression. 

I have bills to pay, a job to go to, no friends, no bed(I sleep on the couch in the family room), no privacy, I share a shower, I have no bedroom. I practicaly don't exist in my house. I'm depressed. Seriously