ruyu | Damn, stupid, fuckin', shits

Hello. Marching band is over, thank God. Money has been a problem. And My birthday is coming up. I'll be 18,yay, legal. Something has been bothering me. I almost went through with kissing a friends. I swear I almost did it, but then I got to nausious to do it. My hands were shaking. My sis broke up with her phsycotic boyfriends who started to send her threat e-mails. Quite funny, but now, I just want to beat the shit out of him, and if I ever see him again, I plan on doing. But for now, she is after our neighbor, steven, who she believes to be her soul mate. Let her think what she wants. I need a guy, who will come to my house, and take me to him and just hang out, and occationaly go out and do something. Movies, coffee, museums, or even a game or something. I need someone who will keep me occupied. I have a tendency to make excuses to not go somewhere with my friends (even if it is band). I hate missing out with my friends, now that I know them better, I want to hang out with them as much as possible, even if we never do anything to begin with. I don't like how much free time my sister has to spend with our friends, and how little have. I'm jealous. Yes. Very. But it's not their fauld if they have more classes together than we do. Like I said I need a guy. My friend is in New York. She is an Azeala Trail Maid. She called today and said she was in time square, and this is like right after the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Which reminds me I have two Christmas Parades to march, no, make that one, because I'm not going to one because I have ACT testing on one day. HAHA.. Mr. Band Director, you cannot make me come...Because I have been to everyone, every year since freshman year, so let me off. I mean really, let all the underclassmen suffer, I am a senior and deserve a little lenience. I'm so ready to graduate. I'm going to miss everyone I've went to school with, but I can handle the loss. But then, I'll have to get a job, pay my way through college, since I am not quite scholorship material. I'll survive, but then I have to get a good job, so I can get more degrees and then make more money, so I can buy my parents new cars like I've promised them since I was 14 or so. I want to kill my teachers sometime, well..not all my teachers, just Mr.Philen, (no, not really kill him), just rant at him and tell him what I think. But I know he is doing his best, but sometimes that man just gets to me. I think he stupid sometimes, but I'm will to forgive that. BUT HE IS STILL STUPId as dirt. BLah. DO you know what I can't stand? It's when my friend, josh, moppes. He get all quite and moody. Then we walks up to you and then lays all his problem on you, then you feel all guilty because he has it worse than you. But I know what he is doing, wanting pity, even though he says he doesn't want your pity. I drive me insane. Or when one minute you are flirting with someone, and then they all are sarcastic and mean. GRRRRR.. punch them in the freaking face. I need to stop tying. I'm getting myself all worked up.