ruyu | Horrible Night

Imagine

12:00 AM
Your grandmother is on the brink of death due to cancer and is slowly waisting away. Everyone is praying and wishing her well; visiting often to expresse their love. The grandmother becomes horribly weak and you fear that she may not make it through the night. THAT night, while everyone in your home is alseep, you recieve a phone call from your grandmother's house. You fear the worst. You are told to give the phone to your mother had just fallen asleep. You see the panic and fear in your mothers eyes, knowing that she too fears the worst when she takes the phone from you. She listens quietly to the person on the other line and offers no clue as to what the conversation is about, only that it pertains to your grandmother. You feel your heart, that had already began to pulse wildly when the phone rang, thump uncontrollably into your rib cage: sheer panic fills your chest. Had she passed away? What has happened?

"If she wants to go, then we'll take her." She says into the phone and you feel the air rush out of your chest in relieved exhale. You heart is still beating reapidly, but the panic begins to recede, only to be replaced by worry and anxiety.

Your mother asks you to gather your things and spend the night with the younger grandchilden while they take your grandmother to the emergency room. You agree without hesitation.

~
1:00 AM
You stand in the kitchen and watch as your sickly grandmother is slowly guided out the door to the waiting car. Her face is sunken and pale, almost the shade and texture of porcelain. The soft cloth of her slippers makes no noise as he is ushered across the tile of the kitchen floor and the pale green of her bathrobe makes her seem more ghostly than you ever wanted to see her look.

Her glassy eyes look at you with dim recognition, "Hey, baby."

"Hey, Granny." You say with a smile. If this is the last time she see's you, then you want to be remembered with a smile on your face; happy. "I'll see you later, ok?"

"Ok, baby..." She smiles with what muscles she has in her face. Then she is gone out the door, along with your grandfather and mother. You watch out the window as the tail lights dissapear around the corner of the street.

~
2:30 AM
The couch is uncomfortable, but bearble as you curl into your quilt; your eyes not quite used to the room at night. Your mind races through all possible senarios: death, coma, pain, crying, holding your mother as she cries, calling family members, granny coming home and working on her cloth doll.

Sleep does not come easy.

~
6:00 AM

You wake the grandchildren up to get ready for the first day back to school and you try not to listen for the phone to ring.

It eventually rings and you take a deep breath as you answer, preparing yourself for any possible information. You mother sounds tired on the other end of the phone as she tells you that your grandmother is asleep and is currently on an antibiotic drip for an infection and also for dehydration. You close your eyes in relief. She is alive for now - but for how much longer? Will she ever be well enough to come home or will she spend her last days on the earth in a hospital? You don't know the answer and neither does your mother.

_______________________________________________________________

Now imagine this happened to me...today. My day has been absolutely horrid. My mother hasn't slept for 48 hours and I doubt she sleeps tonight. I almost wish she'd pass out and sleep already. Bless her soul. Everyone I work with has heard what's happened and they keep asking me how she's doing and I could amost wail. I try to NOT think about it, but they keep walking over to me and asking. WTF....I will tell you when I know something, so back the fuck off. I really, really do appreciate their concern, but I've almost cried several times today and it's not helping to have to say over and over again "She's not doing well."

*runs to hide under her covers*