issues

[ruyu]

Yeah...today sucked...why? Well, I was currently in class, I found out my Algrba 2 teacher is leaving (maturnaty), my Spanish teacher is fucking crazy, and my friends suck(not all of them). I don't even know what I did to make him mad. He is giving me a serious cold shoulder, and I don't know what I did. Maybe he is pissed at me, who knows. I read on his journal the other day that he enjoys making people mad and doesn't feel guilty for it afterward. Well guess what, two can play that game...if only he would say something to me so I could say that sentence to him that would be dripping with sarcasm...HAHa watch out buddy, the first thing you say to me could be your last. I soooo wanted to hit him in the head with the eraser, but he said that if I did, he would hit me in the face, and that sentence comeing from him is a real threat, so he must be pissed about something. But I'm convincing myself that it doesn't really matter anymore. I have almost lost faith in my friends. Yep, I need an enemy, one that I can have a real good argument with, someone to get my point across to, and in return get yelled at and a point drilled into my head, yep, and enemy will do. I really don't like looking outside the box, although it is an interesting view. When you make a new friend, or look a someone you can't help but wonder what they are thinking, what their intentions are, are they honest, truthful, can they be trusted? How do I know that you will not turn your back on me and just leave or better yet, tell me to my face that I am an awful person, and spit in my face exactly what they don't like about me. How do I know? Human are so unpredictable, they are not normal, give me a plant, a tree, a freakin' piece of corn for all I care, at least it is reliable and predictable. I can't help but doubt everyone and their intentions. Does everyone get paranoid about other peoples thinkings and doings. If people "do" the same thing I do, then everyone is paranoid, aka, the human race sucks, me included. I am so weak along with everyone else. I am scared and I am weak. I know I am pathetic and usless, but then again I am just a speck in the crowed, meaning everyone else is just like me. My main point and question: HOW CAN I TRUST YOU?